Where has the fun gone?

I’ve been pondering over what to write about since just before Easter. I have a list of topics I want to write about that I drew up a few months ago when I started this blog. But nothing was leaping off the list and there were other things demanding my attention (buying a house, end of term events, concerts, and the discovery of Quora – you can find me here).

What has been occupying my thoughts consistently over the past couple of months is a slightly odd discovery: I find it very difficult to have fun at the moment. Continue reading “Where has the fun gone?”

Why is change hard?

One of the hardest decisions I have made was to change careers. The hard part wasn’t working out what other option I might take; the hard part was no longer pursuing the career I had set myself. It had been on my mind off and on for a couple of years but I hadn’t ever properly engaged with it. I didn’t feel I was making the kind of progress I wanted, it wasn’t as rewarding financially as I needed it to be, I found adjusting to coming home after long periods away was difficult…

There were many reasons that switching careers was a good idea. But quitting what I had set out to achieve felt like failure. Surely it was through dedication and commitment that one found success? Continue reading “Why is change hard?”

Returning to old ground

symphony-hall-893342_1920.jpgTwo years ago, I had just about organised myself into a state in which I felt things could be OK. I was a few months into teacher training, having taken the momentous-feeling step of completely changing my career and the direction and purpose of my life. I was a few months away from the lowest point of my life, from feeling utterly hopeless and powerless. I was a few months away from believing that ending my life seemed a reasonable solution to everything.

Today, I walked into work feeling I could do anything. I had just conducted an opera for the first time in three years. I had just gone back into the life I had left behind and triumphed. Continue reading “Returning to old ground”

Building blocks

5 Steps to Rebuilding

1. Recognise that something needs fixing

This is the hardest but the most important part of rebuilding yourself and your life. I spent a long time – I mean years – absolutely convinced that it was everyone else’s fault. Whatever went wrong, I never had any control over it. I became obsessively focused on events way beyond my own influence which only served to deepen my own sense that everything was someone else’s fault.

For me, understanding that something was wrong was half the battle. Realising that I actually could do something about it was the other half. Keep reading